I have plenty of parenting advice to offer. For example, I think kids should make their own choices whenever possible. This minimizes battles of will and teaches children to make decisions. Also, kids should face the consequences of their actions. Parents should not swoop in to change the outcome, otherwise kids will become adults who think that someone else will solve their problems for them. Parents need to set limits and enforce them. Parents should not (usually) give in.
Mostly I discuss my philosophy of parenting with my mom, who completely agrees with me and consistently commends me and my husband for the great job we’re doing. That’s very satisfying.
But, oh, how I wish someone who really needed my advice would ask for it! There’s so much hard-earned wisdom I have to share. It pains me to see another mother struggling or stressed out. It saddens me to see a child deprived of an opportunity to choose, to try something new, to fail, to learn, to grow in independence and self-confidence.
Alas, I have discovered that it is impossible to offer advice until it is sought, and then other parents do not ask the right questions. Last night a friend asked me when we started letting our children eat sweets (as my children shoveled down ice cream, while she passed for her son). That was not the question I wished she would ask. That is not the advice I wanted to give her.
I bit my tongue and ate my dessert.
I wish you had been around to ask for advice when I was raising my boys!
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